Why I, God's Prodigal Daughter, Need Christmas

The early spring birds were singing the day she was born. Her parents looked at her with overflowing love as they contemplated the blessing that had been given to them. Into her soft newborn hair, her mother whispered a prayer of thanks to her Heavenly Father. They kissed her temples and marveled at this new love.

The spring birds turned to summer flowers and long warm days.  Her parents brought her into their church to give her God's gift of baptism. Her new church family smiled as they watched her receive the sign of the Holy Spirit upon her forehead and upon her heart. 

The little baby grew and grew.  All the while her parents told her they loved her, and that Jesus loved her.  But she wasn't perfect.  As she grew, so did her free will.  Many of her choices pleased her parents, but there were others that did not.  Like the time she disobeyed and crossed the street to ride her bike, although she knew that was outside of her "boundaries." Or the time she gave her sister a little shove down a dirt hill. Or the time she lied to her grandparents. She was sorry for all of these choices, and her parents knew of her regret. She received her consequences and was forgiven. 

She went to school and learned more and more each day of her Savior. She came to know of Him and His stories as if they were second nature to her.  She felt at home in his house, sang in children's choir, and said prayers with her parents each night before bed. She loved her Heavenly Father.  But still, she made those bad choices.  Amidst all the good, there was still the bad.  Those times when she gossiped about a school mate, lied to her parents, glanced at a friend's test, or disobeyed a teacher. She knew the choices were bad, and asked God for forgiveness.  Sometimes.

The clock kept ticking, and she grew and grew.  She became a young lady, confirmed in Christ. The pastor gave her a special verse on that day, Matthew 28:20, "I am with you always, even unto the end of the age." It stuck with her, and she often remembered it when she was feeling pushed and pulled by a world that didn't show His love. When things were hard and her choice became even harder.  As a bigger girl, she had bigger choices…and bigger opportunities for mistakes.  Just like when she was a child, she made many good choices.  She felt God's love and guiding hand as she steered her way through high school.  She still made her bad choices, but she knew her Savior, and was confident in his forgiveness.  

She passed through birthdays, driver's tests, college entrance exams, and finally graduation.  She knew she someday wanted to be a teacher, so made plans to go to a Lutheran University. She skipped off to school with an absentminded wave to her parents (those same parents who prayed into her soft infant hair and kissed her warm temples) and launched at full speed into her first year of college. And began to make bad choices. 

Bad choices about studying. Bad choices about friends. In her heart, she knew that every decision she made would bring her closer or further away from her Father. But it wasn't too convenient to dwell on those facts, so she shut them behind a door and went on her way. 

Her parents came to visit, and she visited home.  They went to church, but now she felt guilt instead of the overwhelming love and peace she had felt as a child. So she shut that behind the door too, and went on her way.

Her parents and sister prayed for her.  Her grandparents prayed for her.  The Holy Spirit prayed for her.  Her Heavenly Father, the one who promised to be with her wherever she went, kept His promise.  He was there with her always, through every bad choice.  He did not leave her, could not leave His beautiful daughter that He loved so infinitely much. 

Slowly, it seemed to her, she grew and grew.  Through the prayers of her family, help of teachers God sent her, friends He put in her path, and finally a young man God placed next to her, she slowly began to see Her Savior again. She opened the door and let Him back in.  

Then one day after graduation she was called to serve as a teacher in a Lutheran School, just like the one where she grew up.  She was amazed and thankful to God for this gift.  She knew how He had stayed next to her in her rough times and was humbled to know He loved her still. She loved that first year of teaching, and felt instantly at home in His house.  She sang in the choir, prayed at devotions with her fellow teachers, and stole quiet moments in the chapel. 

But still, she didn't make perfect choices.  How could she? She was sinful. Time and again, He forgave her.

Another year ticked by and she married that young man God had sent her.  All the while their parents prayed for them, their grandparents prayed for them, the Holy Spirit prayed for them. They pleased God with their choices, but also grieved him.  They worshiped Him, loved Him and asked His forgiveness.  He freely gave it to them. 

They grew and grew together.  Then one day God blessed them with a baby. They marveled at his perfectness, they looked into his blue eyes and were overwhelmed with love. 

She held her baby boy and whispered a prayer of thanks to God into his soft hair, she kissed his warm temples and prayed. In her entire lifetime, there had not been a day that she had not needed her Savior. She knew, as she quietly looked at her tiny miracle, that it would be the same for her little boy. He would always need his Savior. He would make good choices and bad. He would struggle, but his Savior would never leave him. She would never stop praying for him.  His father would always pray for him. His grandparents would always pray for him.  The Holy Spirit would always pray for him.  

Now she looks and listens as her children play.  She watches them grow and learn at the same school she taught. She sees their love for their Savior.  Her heart overflows. She glances at her Christmas tree as she types, and feels a rush of emotion as she thanks God for the birth of His son.  Every day of her life she has needed her Savior.  Every day of her children's lives have they needed their Savior.  Every time they make a bad decision or a foolish choice, every sin they commit.  They need the forgiveness of their Savior. 

Here, within the red, the green, the ribbons and bows is the true reason she loves Christmas. The birth of her Savior…and His ultimate sacrifice for her salvation.  

She kisses her daughter's ten year old temples, and thanks God for the birth of her Savior.  He was born for her, for her husband, for her three beautiful children. Because we all need Him, every single day.

Merry Christmas! May the wonder of Christ's birth, and the amazing gift He gave you fill you all with peace!

My Grandmother and How She Was Just About God!

In December, I often think of my grandmother.  Truthfully, I think about her all the time. She left a legacy of love with her children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, in-laws, son in laws, grandson-in laws, and so many more. She was born on December 14, 1927.

Today, this is how she came to mind...

Amidst the busy month of December, I have been trying to carve out a time to focus on God's word.  Like a true prodigal daughter, I wander away from Him every day.  This girl knows that God promises to speak to me through His word!  God's word is His lifeline to me, but do I turn to it often enough? Definitely not.  I try to tackle my day or my week all alone…and then I wonder why I'm stressed.

This morning I got out my bible (and probably looked completely foolish if neighbor might have peeked through the window), randomly opened it and laid my forehead down somewhere in Judges.  Perhaps I felt that if my head was that close to God's word, maybe I could make my heart follow along! I prayed that I would be able to "bring down my walls" that I put up…the ones that keep me preoccupied and distracted while I pray and read and study. I prayed that I would hear, feel and see God speaking to me through His word.

I was reading in Luke about Jesus staying behind in the temple while his family traveled on ahead, and how he worried his mother. When she questioned him, he replied,

"Why were you searching for me?" He asked them.  "Didn't you know that I had to be in my Father's house?" Luke 2:49

The author of my devotion* had this to say about this verse:

"In my opinion, Christ's response was quite interesting.  I've searched every Greek translation I can find, and none of my resources have an original word that directly translates to "house" or "business" in verse 49.  From what I can gather, a more precise translation of Christ's response might be: "Didn't you know that I had to be about my Father?"

"That question implies the desire of my heart more than any other I can imagine.  I just want to be about God.  Not about ministry.  Not about my own agenda. Not about writing books and Bible studies. Not about me at all.  When all is said and done I would give my life for people to be able to say, "She was just about God." That would be the ultimate legacy."

Immediately as I read the last paragraph, I thought of my grandmother.  Just about anyone who knew her would say that she was "just about God!" Her fellow Realtors in her office knew she was just about God.  The sales clerk at her favorite store knew she was just about God. Her neighbors and the mailman knew she was just about God. The nurses in the hospital during her surgeries knew she was just about God.  The QVC operator probably knew she was just about God. 

What a legacy!!!  Her strong faith and commitment to our Savior was uncontainable and irrepressible!  She knew (even though I know she struggled just like we all do) that her life was not about her own agenda. She knew God would use her to bring Him to others, and she literally craved the opportunities.  She wasn't afraid of looking foolish or being embarrassed by showing her faith. She just loved him so very much. Oh man, she was Just About God!

Happy Birthday to my dear, amazing, grandmother! For your past 14 birthdays you have been resting in Christ, finally wrapped in the warmth of the Savior you worshipped and served for so long! My heart is so happy for you!

Dear Lord, may I be Just About You! May no other distractions get in the way of being about your agenda, not my own. This season is all about your birth, and your life given for our salvation. That should be my agenda: making sure everyone knows this news! NOT rushing to get the cookies baked in time for the Christmas party, NOT hurriedly putting up the twinkle lights on the front porch, NOT fretting over gift selections. Thank you for opening my heart and eyes to hear and see this message today. I love you Lord, and may everyone I know see your love through me! Amen

* Jesus Day By Day, Beth Moore

False Hope and Chasing Peace

Hope. Peace. Love. Joy. 

Oh how these words echo throughout my mind during Advent.  They are so important to me, that I bring them out…one by one…to boldly exclaim my excitement for Christ's birth.

Sometimes I feel like I am chasing these gifts.  Most specifically, peace.  I crave peace. That euphoric feeling when nothing is bothering me, when everyone is healthy, when there are no nagging little worries.

Sometimes I feel false hope. First its joy, followed by that terrifying feeling when you realize a doctor has given you an incorrect diagnosis.  Or first you feel bliss, then devastation when someone you love deceives you.  You wonder how you can ever put hope in anything, when everything and everyone has the potential to let you down.

Sometimes I have been mistaken about who really loves me.  I have put my love and trust in people who I thought (and hoped) returned my feelings. I know and remember the pain when that illusion is shattered, when I felt the emptiness in that very place I had thought was filled with love. It became an empty, gaping hole in my heart.

And joy.  I have felt joy in my hope, in my peace and in my love.  Oh how quickly and vibrantly joy pops into my soul! But also, how quickly my joy can be dashed.  Like those times when I'm feeling on top of the world: I'm feeling the joy of the children I teach, the sunshine on my face, the happiness of knowing my husband will be home early from work! Then I get a call from the principal at school, who is having a "discussion" with my naughty child. Or I open an email to read of the news of a dear friend with a cancer diagnosis. Or I learn of a sweet little first grader in my son's class who unexpectedly lost her mother. My joy is dashed. I feel my own pain, and I feel a fraction of the pain my friends are experiencing.  And I wonder when I will begin to feel that joy again.

I am literally chasing Hope, Peace, Love and Joy.  I am hunting them down with a vengeance.  I am wheeling and dealing to try and place them firmly in my life. But I can never completely do it, and I'm getting really tired of trying.

Then, from deep within my frustration is a still, small voice saying,

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest in your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

I no longer need to search. I am wasting my energy, my time, my breath. I don't need to chase anything, ever again.  My precious Savior is telling me, "Wendy, my darling daughter, just come to me. I have what you need…everything." He can handle my burdens, he can give me the rest I need, the rest in my soul. In other words: my Hope, Peace, Love and Joy. 

This verse is a promise! If I take his yoke upon me (His, which is easy and light) instead of my own which is tremendously too heavy for me…He WILL give me my Peace. My Hope is in this promise and He will never let me down. I am guaranteed of his Love for me forever! My Joy in Him can never be dashed, can never be snuffed out. I can rest easy in the Peace of this promise. 

He has sent me countless blessings among the hardships, he has sustained me and lifted me up. He will give me the peace and the strength to survive and thrive amidst the ugliness of this sinful world. He alone makes it possible for me to continually have Hope, Peace, Love and Joy. 

This is the real reason I put up these words on my front porch during advent. In a few weeks, we will celebrate the birth of the One who made me this promise. The birth of the one who will bring us all Hope, Peace, Love and Joy. Oh how we need Him! Come, Lord Jesus, quickly come!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9rw3RLv9AY

So Far So Good!

So far, the thankfulness abounds. Will the newness wear off? Probably. Will they so willingly and enthusiastically submit their thoughts? Probably not. But for the next few days, I'll take it.

Objective: Perfect, Beautiful, Harmonious Thankfulness...

Trying today: a tiny basket of blessings.  Encouraged: family members to jot down blessings for which they are thankful.  Routine: Place in tiny basket. Read notes daily at dinner.

Hopeful: basket will overflow with awesomeness.  Children will gush with love for one another.  Husband will actually contribute notes to basket. Entire family will happily be content and thankful for all blessings from God.

Outcome: ???  To be continued…

God's In There!

Little voices, wandering feet, wiggling bodies, eager smiles.  Four weeks of preschool, and already these little beauties are tugging at my heart strings.  Eighteen tiny friends, some new and some familiar.  

This wise “old lady” thought a new school year would be all about circle time, centers and snack.  I thought I would be basking in the glow of alphabet learning, book loving and tempera painting.  I envisioned singing voices, untied shoe laces and tooshies tucked neatly into cubbies.  But yesterday, my infinitely clever Heavenly Father showed me that I am a foolish and limited dreamer.

The children in our preschool class have been enthusiastically sharing something with each other…their bibles.  First one student brought hers to share, then another, then another.  Our teacher, who knows how important these treasures are to the children, lovingly reads a story from every special bible. 

One little girl, while carefully holding her bible, told me something unforgettable.  She said,

“This is my bible.  God’s in there.”

It was one of those moments that puts everything into perspective. Simple concept, right? Its true, of course!  At first I nodded and agreed, “Yes, He is in there!” But as we lined up to walk to the playground, my mind began to swim with the enormous, simple, wondrous truth to her statement:

God is in His Word! All scripture is the God breathed, infallible word of God.  Our Heavenly Father has promised to come to us in scripture.  It is not merely words on a page or a historical account of events. Christ speaks to us through His word! 

So when this innocent little girl told me God was in her bible, I began to realize a few things. 

First, I often forget the power of scripture. Where else can I go to hear my Father speaking to ME? I need Him every day.  I can open my bible and read HIS words, and know He is with me. He is comforting me and leading me. He is there. Such a small child had spoken such an important truth.

Second, this old lady had a pretty narrow vision of “who would be teaching who” this year in the four year old preschool classroom! There is no limit to God, no person he cannot reach, no method he cannot use.

I looked at these small blue eyes, so joyful and proud of her prized possession, and I saw Jesus.  I saw how He works through all of us, even little children.  He has a message to share and He WILL share it.  I cannot put limits on Him.

And the most beautiful part of this story…Jesus is living in her tender and open little heart.  Oh Savior, may you always live there! 

A Fair Weather Fan? Or the Opposite...

This morning I was just randomly flipping through the hymnal (something I've been doing since my last post) and I ventured upon My Hope is Built on Nothing Less, hymn 575 in the Lutheran Service Book.

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
No merit of my own I claim, but wholly lean on Jesus name.
On Christ, the solid rock I stand; All other ground is sinking sand.

This one's an oldie but goodie.  I've been singing this hymn my entire life, and it may even be in the "old" Lutheran hymnal.  By this, I mean the one my parents call the old hymnal…the red one that we had before the blue Lutheran Worship of my youth.

I think (in my infinite Lutheran wisdom…tongue in cheek chuckle inserted here) I know the reason it is routinely surfacing in our hymnals: it has a wonderful message!

There are days when I literally have nothing else to cling to but Jesus.  I don't have anyone strong enough to lean on, because hey...humans are just human. Sometimes things happen that absolutely shake all my trust and hope.  What once seemed comfortable and peaceful can vanish.  Those are the moments when clinging to Jesus is the only possible lifeline.

But as I type this, I realize what I am actually doing.  When the going gets tough, this girl leans on Jesus.  When the going is great…oh dear.  When my house is peaceful and I'm having a great stretch…uh oh.  God doesn't want me to rely on Him only during those times when I think I need Him.  I should be relying, clinging and leaning on Him daily.  Even hourly.

My grandmother's favorite bible verse was:
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18  "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

God knows that there will be terrible times in our lives when we will need Him like we've never felt or experienced before.  He promises to be our lifeline and our hope.  But in Thessalonians He reminds us that He wants to be a daily lifeline for us, even in the calm and peaceful moments.  He wants us to rejoice in Him ALWAYS, pray CONTINUALLY, and give thanks in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.  It is his will for us to do these things.



My Savior, My Comforter, My Hope…I want to be close to you every day, not just those moments when I feel despair.  Help keep me in your word!  Help me to pray and keep up a close fellowship with you!  I want to be pleasing to you in all I do.  I want to feel your power and protection, wrapped around me at all times.  I know you freely give me Your love, comfort and peace.  Help me keep down the walls that I build in my complacency, that keep me from You.  Amen.

YOU have been chosen…now what?

Yesterday we sang one of my favorite songs at church.  As we began, I leaned over and whispered to my daughter, "I love this one!"  Keeping things honest, I loved it because of the tune.  It is not difficult, but it has a little more "meat" than some of the other hymns.  Dotted quarters, octave jumps, syncopated rhythms.  I just really like it!

Of course, when I have my eyes closed is when God chooses to reveal himself.  Halfway into the first verse, I started actually listening to the words I was singing.

                                           Church of God, elect and glorious

                                           Holy Nation, chosen race;

                                           called as God's own special people

                                           Royal priests and heirs of grace:

                                           Know the purpose of your calling

                                           show to all His mighty deeds;

                                           Tell of love that knows no limits

                                           Grace that meets all human needs.

I looked around at the faces of my congregation as they sang this hymn, and at my daughter as she sang in her glorious nine-year-old voice.  I felt the enormous gift that God has given us; this calling that He has given this family.  Together, we are His church.  We are "elect and glorious, a Holy Nation, a chosen race, Royal priests and heirs of grace."  This struck me as so powerful!  What an enormously powerful gift, and here it is…laid at our feet…BEGGING to be utilized!

It then goes on to beg us, "Know the purpose of your calling, show to all His mighty deeds.  Tell of love that knows no limits, grace that meets all human needs." 

We are asked to do three things: KNOW, SHOW and TELL.  

How do we KNOW what the "purpose of our calling" is? What does God ask us to do? What is the great commission?  "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."  Matthew 28:19-20  

How do we SHOW?  I remember an old song I used to sing as a child…"and they will know we are Christians by our love."  Above all else, love others to Christ.  Show His mercy by being merciful.  Show his grace by being gracious.  Show His forgiveness by forgiving.  You get the gist.

How do we TELL?  I'm pretty sure that most every person in the sanctuary with me yesterday morning has a story to tell, about how God has blessed them.  I'm confident that they all can tell of how His love has showed no limits within their families, and how they have experienced His grace that has quite perfectly met their needs.  The catch here is…go and TELL about it!  If other people are like me (and I have a sneaky suspicion that many people are), this is hard.  I can KNOW it and SHOW it, but I fail when it comes time to TELL it.  

This hymn is meant to give us confidence!!  God promises us that we are equipped and capable of doing all this "TELLING."  

He said it.  He chose us.  He empowered us.  We can do it!  We are not alone, because part of His gift to us is His church.  We can do it together!  We have each other to lean on, to give council, to pray with, to encourage and to join together in our calling!  I hope and pray that every member of our church (and beyond into our school families) feels this power.  We are a gift from God to each other.  

Thank you God, for this wonderful family.  Help us all to be strong in faith and to be the people You intend.  Help us to give our lives in joyful service to You.  Amen. 

Church of God, Elect and Glorious; Lutheran Service Book, 646

1 Peter 2:9-109 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 

Ephesians 2:19-2219 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

Revelation 5:1010 You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God and they will reign[a] on the earth.”

The "S" word…Stewardship!

What exactly is "good stewardship?" Sometimes it is a subject that ruffles a few feathers.  I could copy and paste the exact Merriam Webster definition of the term, but I really think that only scratches the surface.  Or, worse, takes something away from what I believe it truly encompasses: a unique relationship with our savior and creator.

Let me begin my explanation here: my church is one of the biggest blessings in my life.  My love for my church is right up there with my love for my husband and children.  Let me take you back in time a few years...

During my college days, I attended church on campus at my Lutheran University.  But…it never felt like "home" to me.  It was college, after all.  Sometimes, I am ashamed to admit, I let other things get in the way of my church going. Even though I was studying Lutheran Education, my campus church didn't always occupy a place of high priority in my mind.

Then, I received a call to teach at my current Church and School.  From the MOMENT I walked into the doors for my first initial interview I felt God calling me.  Calling me to Him, to serve Him, and to be a part of His family.  It was like I found that last puzzle piece to complete the beginning of the rest of my life. I felt surrounded by a new family.  I felt God's love living in the members of this congregation. But most of all, I plainly saw how He placed me there.  I truly felt how He had guided me back into His fold.

Over the years, I have grown along with my congregation.  I have taught, served, and brought my own children into its family. My church has in turn taught me, encouraged me, and baptized and welcomed countless new believers into its family.  It is such an integral part of my life.  I do not want to live without this family.

I love my husband and children.  I give them just about every part of myself, every day.  I could never dream of having the type of relationship with them where I sit back and expect them to serve me all the time.  It is a JOY to give them whatever I have.  It brings me JOY to see them nourished on the food I make, growing strong and healthy.  It brings me JOY to serve them.  I never want this relationship of serving them to end.

It is the same with my church.  It brings me joy to give what I have to my church family.  If I'm good at bulletin boards…I decorate bulletin boards.  If I'm good with children…I teach bible school or Sunday school.  If I'm good with music…I sing in the choir.  I just really want to do all these things because IT MAKES ME HAPPY.  I know that when I am serving others, I am serving my savior.  God gave every one of us different talents.  When we take all those unique gifts and abilities and give them back to the church…IT FLOURISHES.

My relationship with my family at home is not about how they can serve me.  Neither is it that way with my church.  I love my church so much, my question is, "how can I serve today?"

I did not stumble into this church family accidentally.  It is one of my most precious gifts given to me by my Heavenly Father.  I am thankful for it every day.  I never want to see it hurting, struggling or in despair.  I will fight for it, defend it and and give it everything I can.

THAT, my friends, is what stewardship means to me.

Beautifully Distressed

Beautifully Distressed is one of my favorite Pinterest boards.  I thoroughly enjoy browsing the wealth of pictures that have captured the beauty of antique furniture.  Many of the pieces are so old, chipped, dented and damaged, that there has been no other option but to paint them and distress them.  Thus, "Beautifully Distressed."  Today, I realized I should just pin myself onto this board.  I'm distressed in so many ways:

1.  I have three kids.  I'm harried, hurried and sometimes haggard.  My brow is forming a wrinkle from all the "distress-related furrowing."

2. I have, so to speak, "pinned" myself too many times, to quite a few commitments.  All of which I love, of course, but together they can add a little too much patina to my facade.

3.  I'm a worrier.  Every rattling cough or itchy eye, each tale of harsh words spoken at school, all of the fears of impending middle school…they weigh on my shoulders and deepen that furrow.

4.  And here's my biggest reason I'm "distressed:" I'm a hopeless, never-changing, selfish, sometimes broken: sinner.  I'm not just the gently used side table at the flea market.  I'm that old barn door that is so broken, so weathered, so rickety that the only use for it is to salvage its wood.  It is beyond repair by human hands.  But here's where the beauty begins: I happen to know someone who's pretty good at restoration.  His name is Jesus, and when He died on the cross He restored the most important part of me: My Soul.  While I'm on this earth I will keep aging, weathering and distressing.  But inside, deep in my soul, I am a beautifully restored creation…just waiting to be united with my creator and restorer!  I am loved in spite of my imperfections.  I am cherished even when I am broken.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Christ's Sacrifice...and How My Children Understand!!

It is early in the morning. Easter Eve. I am awake early, my mind is on the day ahead: ironing Easter dresses, planning my Easter dinner menu,  Easter baskets and eggs to decorate.  My two oldest children creep down the stairs to sit with me on the couch. 

My oldest son begins talking about our pastor's sermon last night at Good Friday church. He starts by asking if I remember how we learned that two lambs were required to be sacrificed every day, for GENERATIONS, to atone for  everyone's sins. The thought of all the lambs being killed really bothers him. He is visualizing this in his marvelously descriptive 10 year old mind. But he is quick to go on with the rest of the story, telling me how Jesus was crucified in the morning (at the time of the traditional morning lamb sacrifice) and then He died in the afternoon (at the time of the second lamb's sacrifice).  He tells me how Jesus took the place of all those lambs being sacrificed. 

My ever compassionate daughter chimes in with the sermon story she remembers about the very sick little boy, Francesco, who was almost dying during his operation in a remote village. She tells me how he needed blood, and his type was very rare. But his surgeon was that exact match and gave his B negative blood to the boy in the middle of surgery. She goes on to tell me how Jesus has the MOST rare blood type in the world...it is everyone's blood type... and he gave it to all of us. 

At this early hour in the day, I have been given a gentle but powerful reminder, coming from Christ through the voices and hearts of my amazing children. This weekend is about my sin. About my Savior who became that lamb and gave me His blood so that my sin can be wiped clean (like the removal of a tattoo...another sermon story, remembered by my daughter). 

My heart is overflowing with joy, knowing that my children LISTENED, REMEMBERED, CONNECTED and BELIEVE. And that this is not just a story, Christ died for them!  

Thank you, my amazing Savior, for giving up your life for us. For my children who love you so much, and still trust so innocently and blindly in you! May they always keep that love and awe. Thank you for sending them to me, to help my faith grow, even as I foolishly think I will be doing all the teaching! Your grace and mercy are new to me every day!  Amen. 

Three Things

I have three wishes for each of my children. That they will live a long, happy, and healthy life.

Just three little things.  That's not too much to ask, right?

I guess it might seem small when I phrase it as just three things, but in my heart I know I am wishing for so much more.  And, also I know I'm not really wishing. I'm fervently praying.

These three hopes for my children are completely intertwined with one another. I want them to live a long life, yet I want it to be healthy.  I don't want them to lead a long, miserable life. I don't want them to have a short, happy life. These three things are a package deal. And I'm afraid to say that I have a rather demanding attitude towards God, that he had better deliver on my tall order.

Praying to Him, that "His will be done" is surely the hardest part of my life as a human. So I struggle with this, as I'm sure every parent does.

As I pray that our Heavenly Father will take care of my children according to His will (not mine), my next breath must be  "help me trust you...help me trust you...help me trust you."  I know that God is smarter than me, sees our futures, knows our needs, loves beyond measure, never tires, and PROMISES to take care of us.

Lord, my prayer today is that you will take care of my children. You know what is in my heart, and exactly how I want you to bless us! It is my prayer that you would grant me that blessing!  But if you have other plans for us, and my children, please help me be able to accept your blessings in the ways you bestow them. Help me trust in your wisdom and lean on your strength. Amen.

Why Lutheran Schools?

My oldest son is 10 years old.  This summer he will turn 11, and in August he will begin a new chapter in his life…middle school.

All three of our children attend a Lutheran school.  I could write one hundred blog posts about how God has blessed us through this school,  from preschool all the way through fifth grade…and then still have more to say!  But a larger topic has been on my mind lately, as I ponder this jump my eldest is about to make.

Public middle school vs. private Lutheran middle school.

Since my son was born, back in 2003, I knew he would graduate from our Lutheran school.  I knew that many families make the decision to move their children to the public middle school at 6th grade, but I also knew that God's plan for my children would be to remain at our Lutheran school.

I do not judge anyone, and can never fully know a family's circumstances behind their decisions in raising their children.  But I would like to share my reasons for enrolling my children in our Lutheran grade school and middle school.

1. Opportunities.  This may seem like a strange reason on my part, since clearly the public middle school has the ability to offer my children countless activities, electives, sports, classes, etc. that our Lutheran school cannot offer. But I'm looking past middle school...past high school...past college…to the many opportunities that my grown child will have to serve his Savior. I'm looking to when he is choosing a wife, raising children, and working as a man of God in His kingdom.  God will give him so very many opportunities to spread His word, to help pass on the spark of faith in others' hearts…including his wife, children, co-workers, and fellow church members.  Maybe even others around the world?  Who knows how far God will lead him in his lifetime?  

In these precarious middle school years, our Lutheran school is going to help give him that foundation of maturing faith that he will need to become a man of God.  Yes, drama club and advanced graphic arts design class would be fabulous, but a firm foundation of faith in Christ is my (and God's) first priority.


2. Eternal life.  At some point in my children's lives, they will die.  I'm literally tearing up as I type this, because it could be today, tomorrow or 80 years from now.  But it will happen.  This life is fleeting, but life in heaven with our Savior is forever!!  I literally CRAVE a close walk with God for my children.  That He will live in their hearts, that they will spend their days here on earth as believers in Christ.  That when they die, they will be enfolded in His loving arms.  That everything they do in this life will be for Him, because they love Him. 

I will do everything I can to help foster this close walk with God for my children.  Our Lutheran school is doing the same thing, in additional ways that I cannot do by myself in our home.  My children are witnessing adults who have chosen to serve Him every day.  They are seeing their classmates faiths' growing.  They get the opportunity to pray with other peers.  They are able to worship as an entire school every week at chapel.  They can study God's word everyday.  They are part of a Christian fellowship of believers that is a truly amazing blessing!!


Thank you for listening to my heartfelt beliefs.  As I look at all the beautiful faces of the children at our school, I want these blessings for ALL the children…not just my own.  This is why I chose to share with you today.  

My Grandmother and Corrie

I have this memory of my grandmother.  We are in her kitchen, and she is standing in her favorite corner (where she always stood, next to her coffee pot) and I am sitting at her counter, in the swivel chair.  She is telling me about Corrie ten Boom.

I have another memory of my grandmother.  She and I are sitting in her mauve chairs in her mauve living room, sipping Coke from cans, and she is telling me about Corrie ten Boom.

I have yet another memory of my grandmother.  I am sitting on her waterbed in her lovely silver and pale blue bedroom.  She is sitting on the chair next to the bed, we are eating potato chips and sipping (what else?) Coke, and she is telling me about Corrie ten Boom.

When I was a child, Corrie ten Boom had a profound impact on my grandmother.  I couldn't see it through my young eyes, I just knew she told me about her.  A lot.  

At that time, Corrie's book, The Hiding Place, had been in print for around 10 years. It is a story about Corrie and her family, and how they made a terrifyingly difficult decision to harbor Jews in their home in the dark days before and during world war 2. It also goes on to tell of her time spent in prison and concentration camps, finally at Ravensbruck.  In the early 80's, the book was still relatively new.  Like all bestsellers, this book had a broad reach…and it swept right into my grandmother's living room, guided without a doubt by her Heavenly Father.

I've had many years to think about Corrie ten Boom and her book, but I didn't actually read it until last year.  Oh, how I wish I had read it before my grandmother passed away!  I now know why she admired this quiet, foreign woman.  I understand why she felt so compelled to tell everyone about the captivating, horrendous, amazing, and heart-wrenching story.

My grandmother had a difficult life.  Growing up, she was "dirt poor" as my mother always puts it. She recollected hearing mites "pop" when ironing her clothes. When she was in high school, her father burned down their house while in a fit of rage.  Her husband passed away when her three children were still young.  She had failing health when she was in her late 60's and early 70's, and passed away at 72 young years of age. 

In Corrie's book, she speaks about the need to love all humans, whether they are Christian or not.  She speaks about the atrocities that she and her sister Betsy were forced to endure.  But Betsy and Corrie never gave up hope or lost faith.  In fact, they amazingly continued to witness throughout their torturous years.  One quote from the book resonated with me, and I'm sure it is a quote that gave my grandmother enormous comfort:

"There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still."

My grandmother had been in the pit. And, like Corrie, she felt the love of God keeping her from drowning.  I know my grandmother's situation was not the same as Corrie's, but I would like to think that part of Corrie's purpose in writing her book was to help strengthen faith in others, no matter what their circumstances. 

I know that my faith is a direct result of the faith that my grandmother passed down to my mother, and then passed down to me.  As a child, I admired a woman who was kind, gentle, slow to anger (what anger? I never witnessed any), and full of love for me. As a young teenager I grew to know a Grandmother who prayed for my husband (wherever and whomever he might be) she had yet to meet, who gave me my precious bible I still use today, and who shared her knowledge and wisdom with me. As an adult I grew to know this woman was my "kindred spirit" as she used to call me, who knew even when I didn't that God was in my heart, who knew God had marvelous things planned for me, and who knew a Savior that had infinite love for all.

Long ago, on April 14, 1892 in the Netherlands, a woman was born who would grow up to be a marvelous witness for Christ, one whom God would use to help strengthen the faith of so many of His children.

Including my grandmother. And now, including me.

I'm In Love With…the Morning?

This morning I ran into a dear friend in the office at school.  She was all smiles, and exclaimed that she was just very happy this morning.  She had a long list of things to do, and none of them were yet accomplished…but she was, still, just very happy.  She added that her mood may very well be changed by late this evening, but on this snowy Monday morning, everything was great!

I heartily agreed with her!  Mornings are great!  I feel the most productive, have the most energy, am the most patient with my kids…all in the mornings.  If it is a sunny morning, well, all the better.

As I drove away and was pondering all of this, another memory came to mind.  Not long ago yet a different dear friend posted this on her Facebook page:
"Thankful that His mercies are new every morning…and that joy comes in the morning."

Of course that phrase rang a bell in the depths of my Sunday-School-bible-verse-memory-archives.  Thanks to Bible Gateway (my favorite website to look up bible verses), I very quickly found the Psalm she was quoting:

"Sing praises to the LORD, O you his saints,

and give thanks to His holy name.

For His anger is but for a moment,

and his favor is for a lifetime.

Weeping may tarry for the night,

but joy comes in the morning."

Psalm 30:6-7

And then, of course, things seemed to all click into place.  It wasn't a very hard concept to put together, and quite obvious really, but I guess once again my feeble humanity clouded my eyes to see how God works in our lives.  

I am joyous in the morning because God grants me joy.  NEW each morning.  

I feel good, productive, patient, loved, happy, etc…because God has promised to renew me each morning.  To give me the strength and vigor that I need to boost me through my day.  

Yes, some mornings are not joyful.  Some mornings I wake up, foggy…then remember a certain situation, and grief or worry or shame may roll over me.  I really don't like those mornings.  But at least I have the promise: "weeping may tarry for the night (and perhaps that night may last a LONG time), but JOY comes in the morning."  I WILL have joyful mornings again, it is a promise I can cling to. Even when there may be nothing else to grasp.

Thank you LORD, for this morning of JOY!  Thank you for your mercies that are new today, and will be new tomorrow! Quiet my soul on the mornings of grief or sadness.  Let this promise of "JOY to come" bring hope on those dark mornings. Amen.

On Parental Yelling and Residual Guilt...

I would love to say that I am not a yeller.

I also wish I could say that I have never told a lie.

I would love to be one of those moms who literally oozes patience, who demands obedience with her mere presence, who can give one look to her children and they comply.

I would like to stop believing the myth that this type of mother actually exists.

I would enjoy never feeling my anger rise so very quickly, so suddenly, so inexplicably.

I wish I could always look at those angelic faces with complete calm and reverent love.

I have a dream world, where my offspring obey the first time I ask them to do something.

I break down in my resolution to remain calm, I raise my voice once, twice, louder still until the third and fourth time I have repeated a direction onto a little body…only then do I see a reaction from that little angel.

I have residual guilt.

I don't want to be a teacher who conveys that yelling is a reasonable form of communication.

I don't want my children to remember specific times when I let my anger get the best of me.

I want to be a mother who shows Jesus' patience.

I need to be a mother who accepts help from her Savior.

I am thankful for the blessings of my beautiful children.

I am in loving awe of these three little blessings, right now, as they are off at school.

I pray for them constantly.

I don't think it is possible for me to ever receive a bigger blessing from my Lord than my children.

Prodigal Daughter

Every day I forget about you.  But every day you take me back.

When I come to you, and let down the walls that hold you at bay, I can feel your spirit living in me.  It is a feeling of completeness, of wholeness, of contentment. Yet still I let the walls slide back into place, and so easily do I wander away.

You don't leave me.  Even when I go hours, days without thinking about you.  You are there, waiting for me.

I'm like a child, who cannot get things right.  The wrong that I do is staggering when I let myself absorb it all. I make choices that I know are not pleasing to you, that do not honor you.  Yet I make them anyway, time and again.  Unlike a child, I am not innocent.  I do not deserve such an amazing love from such a perfect Savior.

Yet I come back to you.  Sorry.  Begging forgiveness and love. And you give it all to me.  Every drop that I need…you pour it over me, so that it covers every inch of this unworthy prodigal daughter.

I know you will love me forever, in spite of my unworthiness.  I can hide nothing from you, no secrets can be kept, no sin withheld from your sight.

You have promised me that your love is greater than my unworthiness.

Romans 8:38-39

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.